I have had this track in my mind for quite awhile now but somehow I have either never got around to deciding whether to post it in this blog or I wasn't too sure whether I should. I came across it over a year ago whilst wasting time downloading a few tracks from the net and I was instantly taken by it's simplicity and also it's lyrics which had to be some of the most bizarre I had heard this side of G.G Allin.
'Stevie Wonder's penis is erect because he's blind' was a ludicrous line invented out of sheer boredom when John Trubee worked as a cashier in a convenience store in Princeton, New Jersey, in 1975. He'd scribble some poems and weird phrases on a legal pad and then sometime in the spring of 1976, he bought one of those sleazy tabloids you find in supermarkets by the check-out stand, keeping up to date on any UFO sightings and mass hatchet murders.
In the back pages of the magazine he scanned the little ads and saw: Co write on a 50-50 basis, earn $20,000 royalties, send your song poems to ..." some outfit in Nashville, Tennessee. Apparently he thought to himself, wouldn't it be fun to send those people the most ridiculous, stupid, vile, obscene, lyrics to see their response ? so he wrote the song 'Blind Man's Penis'.
Several weeks later he received a letter from the Nashville Co-Writers stating 'We have just received your lyrics and think they are very worthy of being recorded with the full Nashville Sound Production. ... I am enclosing a contract of acceptance. Please sign and return along with $79.95 to cover the cost for each song to be completed' ...
He signed the contract of acceptance and returned it with a check. Several weeks later he received a 7-inch record that had a label and grooves only on one side. Typed on the white label was the title 'Peace & Love'. The recording was as he has later stated the lamest, most minimal country track with a hack country singer singing the lyrics he wrote. One line was changed, they made no mention of Stevie Wonder and had the singer croon repeatedly 'A blind man' instead. Also enclosed with the disc (actually an acetate) was a photograph of Ramsey Kearney, the guy singing. He wore a butterfly-print polyester shirt, Ramsey looked like the perfect man to sing these demented lyrics.
Enigma Records eventually released John's version adding it to their catalogue and christening it with the new moniker 'A Blind Man's Penis,' and here it is.....enjoy !
My mind was beautiful, and I was free
I Got High Last Night on L.S.D
My mind was beautiful, and I was free
Warts loved my nipples because they are pink
Vomit on me, baby
Yeah, yeah, yeah
A blind man's penis is erect because he is blind
It's erect because he's blind
It's erect because he's blind
Let's make love under the stars
Watch for UFOs
If little baby Martians come out of the UFOs
We f**k them yeah yeah yeah
And the gelatin oozed electric marbles zebra spilled its plastinia on bemis
Mother's titties died in Hell
And the Nazis want to kill, kill everyone
A blind man's penis is erect because he is blind
A blind man's penis is erect because he is blind
It's erect because he's blind
ALL RECORDINGS ARE FOR YOUR AUDIO PLEASURE ONLY BUT IF YOUR ARE OFFENDED BY THE PUBLISHING OF THIS MATERIAL OR WANT TO REQUEST THE AUDIO SEGMENT REMOVED THEN PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT ON THE RELEVANT POST AND I WILL REMOVE IT.
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